Summary...

I haven't posted anything in yonks.

Plenty of reasons for that, but mainly just being too caught up in RL, that I didn't have the mood, time, nor inclination to recap my days as they progressed.

Hubby just left. Two whole days earlier than he planned to, I might add. But work called him back (yes, I'm very sure it's work), and I feel cheated out of precious time. Time we've had only in spurts to mend what's been damaged between us. It being the Chinese New Year holidays, he had to come home out of obligation, but I think we've managed to take positive steps towards reconciliation and reunion.

I'm glad. More glad than I can say, that I chose to love and forgive, rather than extract my pound of flesh (that many believe I richly deserved to claim). It's been an absolutely tumultuous few months. No, scrap that. Year and change. My, how time flies when you're miserable and emotionally churned up.

I don't know if I'm jumping the gun by saying we've managed to work things out. I daren't build up my hopes, just in case he has another change of heart. But I will say that I conducted myself well, and chose not to let anger over-rule all my other feelings. That's my own little personal triumph, and even if things go south again (please God, don't let it though!!!), I know that I did my best, and did nothing to be ashamed of.

So, friends who might stop by here for a quick read, I just want to say: I think my marriage is A-Okay. For now. And that I'm sorry if my whinging and constant emotional outbursts might have ticked any of you off. All I can say is, I was provoked!! :)

And The Reason Is?

I told Nige that I was going to do this in a couple of days time, but I guess, since I'm here, I'd do it now.

"This" refers to the fact that I've deleted two posts from my blog. Both were on the state of my marriage, and for those who've already read it, then fine. You know, I know, lets just leave it there.

If you're out of touch, too bad. It's deleted, not even a copy saved on my HD. But yeah, I'm going to leave it where it is now (out of sight) and that's that. Don't ask me anything, don't ask me to explain anymore. Now is the time for me to move on and plan for my future.

That is all.

Quizlet time!

Courtesy of some friends in my li'l DJ community. Nicked this quizlet in honor of the Season! Huzzah!

You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket!

Full of hope and promise. But in the end, a cheap letdown.

What Crappy Gift Are You?

In other (mostly unrelated...ok...totally unrelated!) news:

The carolling is going real good. Mostly because it's over in two gigs' time! YAY! Looking forward to the PPP - Post Production Party (whee!) cuz we got La Supa Sandwiches to allow us into the buffet spread. And best of all, we got a preview of tomorrow's dinner on the house. Three cheers for wonderful giving people!

Watched the Phantom of the Opera (movie version). Minnie Driver as La Carlotta was absolutely hilarious!! Bwahahahahaha!!! Thanks to Empress for deigning to bestow freebie tickets on me and my clan *grin*. My clan loved it. I clutched Musedly's hand at some parts...Gerard Butler, the Phantom Dude, sang some terrible high notes. It was Wince-Worthy *tm*. Hehehe. And the fight scene, where Raoul and The Phantom Dude confronted each other over La Diva was so funny. OTT!!! I was whispering into Musedly's ear that they should just stop singing and DO something!! But that's theatre for you...Hahahahah!!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next week. 24th of December is an office holiday, which I shall enjoy tremendously. Looking forward to the party at Goddess', and of course the Boxing Day Tipple-cum-Lunch. Hehe. Of course, I've sworn of alcohol, and shall enjoy recounting to my tippled friends the weird things they said. Cuz I'm ebil like that. Heh heh.

Signing off with a satisfied belly ;)

Ugh to Small-minded People In Power

Well, that's just part of what I'm about to post. The rest is really mundane, but what to do? I've got this really bad habit of writing post titles that don't match my posts :p

So..last night was rather...umm...weird. Heh. Me and the Empress had headed out to town to catch the U2 iPod product launch, and we thought we'd arrived there IN TIME. The invites DID say 7pm after all. When we arrived, the line had already curled out to the main road and was on its way to reaching the next plot of land, and we heard from a friend of the Empress that the first 200 had already been in and out with their goodie bags.

Blah.

So after dawdling to the back of the line and deciding NOT to be like the rest of the geek-pack, we headed back to the car and drove of to the National Arts Academy where Empress promptly signed up (belatedly!) to audition for a role in the Landmark Opera of 2005! Whee!

Hope she and the other DeViants get in :) Although I must say, Goddess Fluffy is ver' ver' naughty this time around :) Esp. since she's heading to Borneo next month :p

OK BACK UP! I missed a step!

So, on our way to the Academy, I took a wrong turn and ended up at the front gates of the Parliament Building (this is at 8pm), where we promptly got harrassed by the gate guards. Geez. So, ok, I understand you're worried that two girls in a little car could be carrying uzis (which are probably longer than our car boot is wide), and probably driving around with bombs strapped to our chests, cleverly hidden by our fitting tops and bras.

And yes, you may see my ID and Drivers' License, but can you not threaten to make me leave my car parked in front of the guard house for DARING to take a wrong turn? I don't think whichever VIP that's going to drive up on the morrow will be very happy to see my little car blocking his way :p

I think if he'd meant business, we'd have had to get out of the car for a frisking. As it is, I suppose the guards in our National Service don't have much to entertain themselves with at night, so we were probably a welcome distraction. He finally deigned to allow us to make a three-point turn, and we barreled down the road and made an illegal left turn because that would be about the only way out of there :p

So yeah, the story follows with the auditions, and then we had dinner and headed home. The end.

Well, not quite. I've been sneezing my head off (damned face powder), and tonight's another show. Ewie. AND the red tide is upon me! SAVE MEEEEE!!! Hehehe.

Okay, NOW, mercifully, it ends.

Back to the mundane?

Yeah, well. Here I was going through this period where I said I'd try my best to get OUT of working in a music-only environment, start school again, try a different major. Like Linguistics. But oi!! I end up getting a job at an arts/music portal.

How's that for karma?

Anyway...I'm pretty happy where I am right now. Still catch myself asking asinine questions (usually after I've asked it. How embarrassing!! :) Otherwise, I'm good. I think.

Anyway, I've been seriously looking at iBooks/Power Books. After reading the articles on the non-possibility of a G5 powerbook anytime soon, I have to wonder if it's worth getting a G4 iBook instead. Hmm...holiday or iBook. Holiday or iBook?! Decisions, decisions.

Of course, it's all moot if I don't save up anything in time. So yay job. Yay teaching. Yay, period.

Arrogant Fascist Types

Recently, I received an email from an egroup I'm subscribed to, which literally made my blood boil. Details further along :)

Said email was rather inflammatory, and totally unexpected. It was a very public attack, and very poorly informed to boot. Such people should curb their figurative tongues if they have no proof nor substance to substantiate their accusations. Wow, now wasn't THAT a mouthful :)

Until today, I still cannot believe that there are people out there who presume they have the right to tell you what to say and how to think. I have never fully (nor even partially subscribed) to the law that states every person has a God-given right to say what they think. You are entitled to your opinion, and of course you have the freedom of speech (I'm not even an American, by the way) SO LONG AS YOU TEMPER YOUR JUDGEMENT WITH COMMON SENSE.

If saying what you feel is going to start a world-wide war, curb your tongue. Unless it's what you intend, then I can't comment. I'm not one to hide my opinion. However, I've learned that if you take that few extra seconds to think things through, you spare yourself the embarrassment of making thoughtless comments that hurt or offend the people around you. That's not to say I don't blunder, but I'm a lot better than I used to be :)

I'm fairly opinionated, and have been known to blow things way out of proportion. I also know that once I've vented, I'm not too bad at either letting it drop, or taking my gripes up with the offending person. Of course, once I've blown off steam, I'm a lot more tactful and diplomatic. Ergo, people who have opinions ought to think a little bit longer and harder than the other type before they speak what's on their minds.

I understand it's a fairly Asian attitude, this reticence. That's fine by me. Being a mixed breed myself, I can see the benefits of the Western concept of broad-minded thinking, tempered with the more reserved judgement of an Asian.

Back to the offending small-minded peanut who got my blood boiling, and his offensive-to-everyone mail.

You can't blame people for having a blog and publicly writing what they think. You can't STOP them. You can't have them kicked out of a Club or Society for having the temerity to OWN a blog. You cannot tell everyone that such people should be treated like Pariahs.

Or you can think it, and say it. But DON'T expect to affect a change based on those flimsy opinions.

I'm quite ticked really. It was a public attack, ergo it requires a public response. Let me blog how I feel. I'd like to see if this Offensive Emailer dares tell me to MY FACE what I can or cannot do.

In other news:

The current proggie I'm taking part in is on a back-burner in my mind. I can't seem to muster up the enthusiasm to memorize, which is truly bad of me. I KNOW I'm supposed to have had all my words down pat like two weeks ago. I can't help it. It's a mental block of tremendous proportions ;) I shall attempt to memorize by tomorrow, although God knows what good cramming is going to do *rolls eyes*.

Ah well. All this excitement has at least helped me get over my blues. Which is a good thing.

The Incredibles

The Incredibles was simply, INCREDIBLE!! :)

I'm so glad I got those preview tix, and we (Minnie-person and I) had AWESOME seats. 3rd row from the back, dead center. Hahahahaha! So cool! Anyway, I STRONGLY recommend everyone to go watch it. It wasn't slapstick humor so much as it was more stuff that's related to everyday living. Being a wife myself, I found some of the more humorous situations reflecting really closely to the things I've said and done. Hahahaha!

The last bit where we find out Baby Jack-jack's super power's cool too :)

Anyway, that's enough of a teaser...y'all go get your tix NOW! :)

On A Local Driver....

I was driving home from choir practice, and turned a corner at the traffic light, when I had to stomp on the brakes. This Mercedes 230 had made a sudden turn out of his lane, and intending to cut into mine. This being the month for tolerance to the rest of humanity, I decided to not push forward, and waved at him to continue. For a long moment, he just stayed in that position, appearing unsure of whether to proceed or not. A few more insistent waves, and he finally decided to move along. Without a wave of thanks, I might add.

I'd noticed the left lane, which the Merc driver was on, was lined with cars laying by, wanting to make quick-dash purchases from the stalls that were hastily set up along the kerb. The only lane with moving traffic was mine. So I start to step on the gas, as my position is rather awkward. We were stoppering up the entry from the other 2 sides of the T-junction. The E230 driver, I shall now name him Asshole, suddenly stops a few yards ahead, without signalling, pops the boot, gets out the door and strolls around to load some stuff from one of the stall vendors.

Hello? No thanks for not making a fuss about his totally inconsiderate change of lanes, stopping DEAD in a busy street, with more cars pouring in from all sides, a shit-faced glare of contempt for my dilapidated old 1991 Honda Accord (obviously, Japanese car drivers don't rank anywhere in his book of people to show courtesy to), add the fact that a WOMAN was driving said dilapidated Honda Accord, his lackadaisical attitude towards the honking that was starting to crescendo behind me, and the pile-up he was causing.

I want it on record that I'm NOT racist, but I'm going to say that this particular indian driver of middle age was probably the MOST annoying asshole I've ever had the misfortune to come across. The whole attitude reeked of: This is my grandfather's road, I've got more money than you, OBVIOUSLY, and I have more right to do whatever the HECK I want because I feel like it.

I also want it on record that his E230 was a 10-12 year old? model. So he was just an asshole. There.

If I ever see him again, I'm going to run over his toes with my nice, sturdy German Volkswagen Beetle, model 1303, year 1975, then when he's bent forward in pain and agony, I'm going to throw it in reverse and flatten his head! Hah!!!

Movie Night and Some Other Schitt.

I watched "Taxi" with Minnie-Person. Loved the action. I know, it wasn't "The Fast n' the Furious" or some shite, but hey. It's a lot nicer when traffic's involved ;) Hehehe. But there were a few scenes when the thought "Hey, we drive like that regularly in KL" crossed my mind :p

I didn't swim with Empress. My bad. I had my suit on, and the nice manager-lady at the Sweat Club did me a favor by letting me in without my having to produce a pass or anything. Of course, I'm thoroughly embarassed that I haven't paid up my dues for the next year ;) Ah well. After Raya.

Anyways (and yes, I realise I say that a lot), listening to the great Ella Fitzgerald herself. Damn, that woman can scat! :)

Had a very enlightening convo with my teacher. On, what else? Classical vs. Modern (in this case, jazz) :) I've been getting off easy these past two lessons, due to the puasa month. Dang, it's tiring to try keep your diaphragm inflated when you're just so tired. I know, it's wussy, and it's truly not THAT bad. I'm just lazy, and add to the fact that I've been running on 4 hours of sleep a night the past couple of weeks (I've got the luggage to prove it!!), well...I'm glad fasting gives me a handy excuse :p

Back to the convo during class: Here's a sample.

"...I know my diaphragm is collapsing...I'm just..." (wiggle body to express utter blah'ness) "..dunno! Tired!"

"Aiyo! You-ah!! Always so critical. Before you even get to the end of the exercise, you already quit, think so critically of your sound!"

"I know, I know!! I can't help it!" (fidget some more, mostly in frustrated embarrassment now).

"And about jazz. Classical and jazz is the Same Thing!!"

"Okay, I know, I know...but here's the thing" (hold up three fingers on the right hand), "I need a good technique, speed, and creativity."

Hold up the left hand: "Classical has the technique. Right?"

I get an affirmative nod and this eye-rolling glance that says a whole volume of "Duh!!!" in it.

"Okay, I got speed, I got creativity...I don't have technique. So I learn from you lah!! But if I try to add technique now, I can't be fast OR creative. How? I know lah...once I get it right, I'll add that last bit in. BUT NOT YET!"

And FINALLY we're communicating, because she says "Aiyo!! That's what I'm trying to tell you!!"

And here I am going, "You are??? I was trying to say that too!!!"


Hahaha!! I love my lessons. To quote the lady: "I like you as a person, but I HATE you as a student!", hahahahaha!!! :) It's really nice to have a teacher who doesn't tell you to shut up and just DO. I've enjoyed my classes a lot more with the teachers I had AFTER I came out of the first college. Teachers whom you can actually discuss the theory of the technique with, who do understand that some people work better with a map in their minds.

Of course, I realize I drive my teachers nuts with my questions, because I don't show results when they give me answers. But I take a while to process my thoughts *shrug*....can't help it if 'a while' can range from a few weeks to months ;)

But hey! Thinking works for me. What's wrong with that??

Got a call to do some show thingy involving kids. From my sister's friend. But since she woke me up in the middle of a much-needed nap, and she mentioned kids at a time when my brain couldn't handle it, I declined most politely. Which reminds me, anyone interested? If I heard correctly, the part requires some singing. I gotta double-check, but that's not a problem. Also, it's for Christmas I think. I didn't even ask what it was about, but I _am_ sort of committed to the Christmas program, so that's another reason to say no.

Anyway, this post has taken ages to type. I'm actually moving around on SWMUD. I can't believe it. Being a clannie kind of puts you in action I guess. *shrug* I'm publishing, before I hit anymore snag delays. Har.

I'm BACK!!!

So I've not been keeping up with my blogspotting. Sue me. Erm...on second thoughts, I just remembered. I know someone who -could-, so I'm going to retract that real graceful, like :p

What 'm I feeling? I dunno. Maybe a few residual urges to run head-first at top speed into a convenient wall? Or the need to just close my eyes, and whack my palm against my forehead, while chanting "Stupid, stupid, stupid" like the mantra to end all mantras? Yeth....I think I'll do both until I forget why I'm trying to knock my brains out through my ass.

I'd been...umm...working on memorizing my words. Well, minus a few mental blocks (and I actually have a lot more of those than I can remember, heh heh), I thought I had my lines down pat. I've always worried more about forgetting my lines, than I worry about embarrassing myself by acting really stupid on stage. Probably because I'm the butt of a lot of jokes off-stage as well, so it's not a problem anymore :p Forgetting LINES though...oh lordie!!! *fans self* I could go on and on about the backflips and sommersaults my tummy does when I think about bungling a line.

Anyway, to wind my way back to the point, I'm just saying that in order to get over stage-fright, I try to wipe my brain clear of my worries. In this case, lyrics :p

So, Night Une, I get on-stage, sing tentatively, don't miss a single word, forget to be musical, and come off sounding lame. Fair enough. Night Deux, I loosen up a little bit more, words still okay, rhythm picks up. Still in semi-control, and just about fed-up with not knowing why in heck I'm not getting in touch with the music.

Night Trois rolls around, and I just about go on-stage comatose, and just ready to Not Give A Fuck *tm*, so I swing up (rather like in preparation to crack some heads with a wooden baseball bat), start off, then about halfway through the BRIDGE, realise I've actually fucked up on verse two!! HAHAHAHAHA!! Realization coming late and all that, I totter to the ending, and get ready to sing song number two, when about two seconds into Verse One, I forget the lines!!! The lines, in fact, that I can sing IN MY SLEEP!!!! How's that for fucky???

So while staring in amused horror, and humming sideways into the mic at my (probably) equally amused accompanist (bless her!!), while seriously considering stopping the music so I could start fresh, it hit me that calling a halt right then would not just be the ultimate gaffe, but I'd committed myself to the rhythm. So swing on we did, the pair of us. I'd gone so deep into the Don't Give A Fuck *tm* state-of-mind, it was a blur of sound and a serious lack of restraint.

I still can't believe I'd let go of my concentration, to the point that I couldn't find my words!!! My words!!! Aaaargh!!

I don't think I can keep doing this. Everytime something to this effect happens, I start to think fondly of a full time desk job, pushing paper around, answering tedious phone calls, and catching cat naps when nobody's looking. Aha. *cough*. Hrm. I still might do that, in fact. I'm not getting anywhere musically.

On other matters: Watched the Wayans' Brothers' latest effort, "White Chicks" at GSC MV. With hubby. Hehe. Like the man says:" It's good fun, total no-brainer." Well, I liked it. Wouldn't watch it again. At least the hamming was at a minimum, which made the movie a little bit less embarrassing to watch. Haha. Would recommend it if you need some cheering up. It's really a good laugh.

Plan: Watch Resident Evil 2, Dodgeball, catch Joel Schumacher's upcoming The Phantom of The Opera (lovely trailer!!!) and most definitely haul Da Doll with me to catch A Shark Tale. Ha! So many movies to watch....nobody to go with! Boo-hoo!

Anyway, that-time-of-the-month is over, and I'm raring to go. Puasa, that is. Body's definitely saying: time for a change again! :) Which also led me to the high-tech'ish reception desk of the Sweat Club MV to check if my membership was still active. Suspended (hallelujah!!! No need to pay the joining fee again!), and which ended October 1st. Which means every month I _DON'T_ pay from that point is added up to the tally for when I finally _DO_ pay. Ahahaha. *cough* I think I'll take the one-year plan if I can afford it next month. Any DV'ian is welcome to use up my monthly passes (a grand total of TWO! :p), if they like.

Okay, done. I'm updated, my burdened soul is cleansed *cough!!*, and Pratchett's 'Maskerade' beckons! Lalalalalalalalaaaaaa!!