49 Years, and a day of bummin' around...

Malaysia celebrates its 49th year of Independence today. Does it feel different from any other day in the year? Only the increased number of people in the house, and the constant buzz of activity, makes today seem like it is...

Most days, I get the house to myself while the sun's still high-in-the-sky.

The WP are having a day-time rehearsal. That starts in another hour and change, btw. And since it's at Nige's place, I reckon I'm gonna head out early with my cam, take a leisurely stroll. I don't wanna work up a sweat just yet. It's not nice to walk into a roomful of people smelling..har.

I skipped my day at the gym today. Hello?? It's Merdeka day! What're the odds that MV will be crawling with people who just haven't a clue what to do with their day off?? :p Anyways, I slept late Sim'ing...I get so caught up, I swear....

Anyway, there's this sense of unreality to the day. There's so much to do. A roomful of dust, grime and 4 months of accumulated knick-knacks to clear and put away. There are books to sort and read, and fuckin' 'eck... I got a call yesterday from my local bookstore telling me I'd won a Jim Brickman autographed book.

I'm hoping it's a music book, and not some autobiography, because...sorry, I'm just not a fan of Jim Brickman. But I'm always open to adding scores to my music library :) I've become an absolute fiend with hubby's $$.... the first thing I'll get is books. The second thing I'll get is books. And then the third thing I'll get is books. After that, I'll pick up whatever else catches my fancy.

Chalk it up to years of supressing my desires. Whatever it is, whether I'm spending his money or mine, my priority will always be the printed word. And printed music. Isn't that wonky? The bad thing about this is: I'm constantly loaning my books out, and not keeping a record of who has what.

I've lost many a book this way.

It's not the lending that bothers me, it's the fact that I don't get them back simply because I don't know who has what, so I can't call people to get my stuff back. And besides music, there are stories I love to read and re-read, nevermind that the trash factor breaks the scale at 13... (we're talking 1 to 10 here)...

Okay, I'm done ranting about that. It's my own absent-mindedness after all.

Note to self: Keep Riesling and Godivas safe for hubby's return this Sunday. Whee :D

Urgent Break Needed...

My life is made out of cycles. Not-so-random cycles of quasi-routine, built more like the seasons, than a fixed calendar.

For instance: I know when the edginess starts to hit me, that my claustrophobia that comes from living in a valley, needs the outlet of air and space. There are times when humanity itself is too overwhelming. The sheer press of human bodies in a contained space like this li'l Valley I call home is enough to make me want to lash out with my foot, in the hopes of knocking a circle around me wide enough to breathe in.

If you think this is irrational, you should hear the shit that starts to spew from my mouth when my brain literally shuts down. You know how it is, right? When you get surrounded by a wall of sound, and people, and oxygen suddenly seems lacking, you just can't focus.

That's me. And when my brain shuts down, the boundaries that keep my good manners intact disappear as well, and o...mi....GOD....!!! After the day is done, and I'm readying myself for bed, I cringe over the stupid things I said. The stupid and embarrassing things I'm so capable of saying whenever my self-restraint isn't safely in place.

I hate obligations that keep me tied down to this one space. I want to do a walkabout. Just pick up my wallet and not worry about duty, responsibility, the evil necessity of work (and thus earn money to survive and thrive)... The only thing holding me back is nothing....and everything... How do you work around something like that?

I need air right now. I need it so bad. I need to get away from people. How can I keep putting up a smiley face, when I don't have the time and space to repair the dents and cracks in that masque??? I don't want to call it a total facade, or even a farce... I enjoy being the clown. I enjoy taking life lightly.

But lets face it, even someone as monumentally shallow as me (isn't that somewhat of an oxymoron?!) can tell that life is about checks and balances. About light, and dark. About necessary opposites. And I'm telling you now, I need to indulge in my dark side because it's wearing at the part of me that's light, and fluffy.

Soon. I don't think I can hold out much longer.

Our Weekend, Zack Style

Sis had some themed do at our house, so she got the parental unit + Doll to take a road trip down south to visit relatives. OtherSis had a gig, and I zipped off to meet friends and catch a singing competition. AND HAVE CAFE CAFE din-dins! :D

*BIG CHEESY GRIN HERE*

So yeah, here's a pic of her tabletop decor:



The hanging candles. Zoom...



Zoom-out....



Zoom-out some more...



Old-fashioned armoire with decorations,
and a new-fangled lappie + speakers to jazz it all up...



Random lily-piccies. Didn't even look at view-finder.
Hoped for the best when I pressed! :D



Another fluke shot.



Berkibar Bendera, Selamat Hari Merdeka ke-49, Malaysia!



My kitty's babies! A kitten-puddle!

And that ends my picture contribution for the next few days. Next up will be a story about how my sister almost got kidnapped in front of our house, and also SD's transfer to Sudan, of all places in the world....

Aari @ The Attic

For the life of me, I still can't properly explain why I agreed to this. The money wasn't even a factor (but I got paid something, so it's good!)....I don't think I have anything to prove, except maybe a need to fulfill my curiousity.

Anyway, I personally thought I sucked, but under the circumstances, I did as best as I could. With better circumstances, and a wee bit more rest, it would be a different story, but the fact is: I gave it my best shot.

And I accept that my efforts were below par :) I don't think I'm being too critical of myself, either. You just know when you've made a blunder up there on stage, and I think only my cheesy energy was keeping things going...for me, at any rate :) AND my hired mob, lets not forget those great people out there I forced to attend hehehe :)

This is me, emo'ing. Pfft.




A painting I liked lots...guess my preference for the color blue
hasn't faded off as much as I'd thought :)




Part of my hired mob! Love hired mobs, they do great jobs
making a gal feel good about herself :D




Llew, peekaboo!!! :)




My arse. Can you see my red underwear through the white
capris? I'm hoping not :p Really!

So, to give credit where it's due: Sis (one of the hired mobsters, go figure out which one she is..) did my makeup, and helped me with my uber casual wardrobe. Kewl! Shoes were my fav Nine West clogs, which I'd strapped on wrongly (the right side), and only realized AFTER the show was over and done, hawhawhaw!! *guffaw*

Finally, a bonus piccie of my kitty puddle. My mamma cat had the weirdest pregnancy this time around. She gave birth to her two babies in the morning, then placed them in the washing machine where they'd be "safe", lepak'd around sharing some love and affection in the garden, before dropping another two babies sometime during the night. I've never seen her NOT drop the entire litter at one shot. Or at least during the same period of the day.

Ma kitty puddle!!!

Can't resist a silly li'l Quiz!

Your Celebrity Baby Name Is...

Diva Rogue

What's Your Celebrity Baby Name?

This quiz result is slightly embarrassing, considering that I take my Libran traits seriously. But there you have it. The sad truth!

You are 53% Libra

How Libra Are You?

Oh Fucken' Heck!

I thought my tongue had finally decided to rebel against the instrusion of my tongue stud. The right side feels like something broke in there (yes, duh, silly...but when in pain and all that...) and oy!!! It is ANNOYING!

So, okay. I finally took the time to look in a mirror today. After about a day and a half of swirling my tongue futilely in my mouth, I decided to assess the "damage" :p Fucken' heck, it's a flamin' ulcer. On the underside of my tongue. When I stretch my tongue out, it pulls on the ulcer. Ow-ow-ow!!!

The parental unit have taken themselves off for a well deserved island holiday, so it's just me and Da Doll at home, with a crappy buncha sibs lolling around. I've stocked the friggie, but with the sibs, the supplies will last two days if I'm lucky.

Hubby is still stuck in the boonies. Like: "What the fuck?!?!" right??? On standby, konon. Pfft. Hssst. Boo. Etcetra...

It's only been like 3 fricken months. A whole extra month more than his contract states he should be away from home. By rights, if they don't have any jobs for him to do off-shore, he's entitled to come home.

Seriously, they are so playing fast and loose with his rights. And he can't leave on a whim. Customs and laws in that country are corrupt and skewed. A flight out costs the earth, the moon, and a planet in Alpha Centauri.

Pfft squared.

I finally sent Pang something he could use, and I'm glad it's over. I'm usually quite at ease with my writing, but for some reason, this event and this article really had me digging my heels in.

I'd sent him like 3 (or was that 4) versions in a mixed up jumble of thoughts and impressions. I don't envy his job as editor, and am quite certain he would have cheerfully liked to have strangled me to death after he'd run me through with a pencil for the stress and delays I put him through.

Dunno if he's ever stumbled across my blog, but this is an official and public apology :)

Da Doll is currently sobbing her heart out at my desk. It's rather late, and we've both had a long day, but as punishment for her sudden display of temper (she flung a book at my bed and pouted mutinously), I'm making her finish her homework.

Yes, I'm inhuman. La-dee-da. That's news how?! I know the school holidays officially started yesterday, but I don't care. If I leave this alone, she'll be doing her homework next Sunday, and we'll be going through this exact same scene, except at a later date.

Anyway, that's it. I'm going to shut down here, let the munchkin off the hook, and read a book before I go to sleep. I'm reliving my childhood by reading the first of the Forgotten Realms Avatar series.

Argh, sometimes I'm just full of shit...

I can hear the hisses in the background already :p Sometimes you say??? Perish the thought. Try MOSTLY :p

Yes, thank you. Moving on. I keep telling myself and whomever's unfortunate enough to be within hearing range, that I'm a very self-aware person. I pretend my EQ is higher than my IQ (which isn't saying much, because I'm only a few points above Forrest Gump. Really)...

And I have chronic foot-in-mouth disease.

*sigh*

I didn't start my day mad, but I definitely built up to it. And by the time I went out for lunch, I was unreasonable. Was it my friend's fault? Not really. I'm a real jerk without even trying. But I tend to nurture my discontentment, and have problems putting old issues away.

I made a comment about being true to oneself. I'm afraid I only practice what I preach when it's convenient to me. Isn't that usually the way? I'm much too shallow and self-centered to be able to commit to that philosophy 100%, but I'm at least giving it the ole college try.

And now I'm going to irritate myself with these lame self-justifications.

If you're gonna ask me what the fuck I think I'm doing, I'm gonna tell you I dunno. I don't. But at least I've recorded my day with some accuracy, if not coherency. Thank you, that is all.

p/s: I am NOT ranting. I'm just emoting. Babbling...whatever!!! :p

Ohhh...cute test thing from Hagge.

I took the short, informal test. You can take it here. This other one's longer. And I haven't done it yet. But you can give it a go.

And you may have already guessed, but according to the short test, it looks like I'm an all-out ESFP. Details here.

Okie, nap time!

Pictures of my new phone and other shtuff..

As promised! Piccies of ma neue PHONE! :D

The back, complete with active-slider function.
The real cool thing is there's an auto-focus function too,
like you get with digital cams. Something that I've not
experienced with a phone cam before :)




My phone, in white. The standard unit carried in most shops
comes in silver. I paid extra (stupidly) for the novelty.




If you squint, you can see hubby's nekkid bod. Hur-hur-hur!!
I edited it mildly with the phone's edit function. Even lit up,
it's not a crystal clear view of him, but I swear...I can see
the definition of his butt cheeks. Bwahahaha!




Piccie of the moon a few days back. Unfortunately, didn't recharge
my batts, so I managed to only get a few shots off, and not from a
great vantage point, either.





Of course, this picture I snapped on the walk back up the
street to my home, proves to me that the moon affects animals
in strange ways :)




Evening sun on a darkening garden (flash)..




Sans flash...




Air quality yesterday. Damned tree-burners.




(Somewhat of a bonus)..The street where this house I've been
eyeing is located. I could never afford it, and it's not even
on sale. But it's a tiny little thing. So cozy!




The front gate of this cute li'l fixer-upper. Wonder why the
previous tenants moved out.

Okay, that's another long, SPAMMY entry. Enjoy!

On SpousieDude and Mememeeee!

SD called while I was sending SoulDoc back to her weekend place. Waaaahlau. Sounds so glamour-one.

So, yeah. I just wanted to say that I put forth the idea of taking 4 days away in Bali the next time he's home. The deal? I pay for our villa, and he pays for our flight. I think I just about got it made in the shade!! He's caving, I can tell. Also, I think I'll take Da Doll for a drive up north during the school holidays. SD or no SD, it's high time I continue the tradition my parents have tried their best to start and instill in us kids.

Pack a bottle of water, sandwiches, a blanket/mat, a few clothes, and the kid. Hop into a car, and get on the road. Aim for someplace, and keep driving until you're tired. Find a place to sleep, or a place to eat, and repeat until you're ready to go home.

I really love that. And I think, so will Da Doll. Too bad SD is never around for this, but with my li'l girl growing up real fast while I'm too busy to pay attention, I can't waste another minute waiting around for some mythical day where we can all enjoy this as a family to appear.

Goddess' Jumble Sale Preview!!

Goddess held a preview sale of stuff she was going to unload at a flea market or something. We got dibs to dig into 4 huge boxes of books, clothes and handbags. SoulDoc got lucky with one handbag. Goddess had *gasp*...overlooked the RM300 she'd stashed in it. Good thing SoulDoc found it first, but that turned out to be the joke of the night.

That, and a wayward comment I made about the problem with wearing the skirt (featured below, the black ones Cris and SoulDoc are modeling) not really being a problem at all. Goddess maintains that the hem length is too risque, and would actually reveal too much of her undies.

I was of the opinion that wearing a thong would negate that problem. I'm sure you'll agree with me on this :)

Anyway, we were treated to a display of Goddess' belly-dancing outfits and accessories. Tres cool. Also, Goddess is trying to sell her camera. It's a really GOOD one, and comes with lots of neat stuff. You'll have to ask her about it, but check out her site if you're seriously interested in buying it off her.

Note: It's almost brand new, practically unused, and is in excellent condition.

Onwards, to photos!!

Cris and Goddess Beebs.




SoulDoc, for once, is an island of stillness...




For some verschtunken reason, this pic turned
out better on SoulDoc's cam. Fuggit...! *envy*




To prove that not all nuts grow on trees, Cris and SoulDoc
(wearing the same fricken skirts) in different ways. If you're wondering
if that expression on her face, and that fashion statement is normal
for SoulDoc, the answer is YES :p




The jumble of shtuff, and females...a prerequisite to enjoying knick-knacks,
company, and mindless chatter :)




My book tower. I didn't even think to haggle, most of these were in great
condition!! I paid RM100 for this stack, and I'm unashamed to admit: I'm
a great fan of trashy fiction :D




SoulDoc demonstrates the many uses of a wrap-around skirt.

Aari = Stoopit

I traded in my old Nokia 6280 phone for a N73. Oh man oh man! It is GORGEOUS! 3.2MP, Carl Zeiss optics, 3G. OS is not my favourite kind, but hey. Whatever works, right? Also, true to Aari Tradition, I have already dropped it once. I am now keeping it snug in my Crumpler phone pouch, so that it will keep the phone semi-safe. At least for a few more days.

Anyways, I got Juliet into my Punkin' Mobile, and we zipped over to the Curve from the Kakiseni office. I was s'posed to do a review for the website (I've YET to submit my other review...ok, ok. I've yet to WRITE my other review, bwahahaha! :p) of this all-in-one night spot, and I hauled Juliet along as usual.

I suspect she agreed to go with me because she'd dragged me out to watch "In 1969", which I found quite..uh...let's not go there.

We took a lot of pictures of the location, and I acted like a total brat. I'd made up my mind from the previous visit there, that I wasn't going to bother dressing up just so I could fit in to a classy looking, artsy joint like this particular place. Such a webel, me.

Okay, was gonna post up some pictures, but blogger is fucked. I'll do it when I wake up, *yawn*....

Update: Piccies, in no particular order...

Surreal stairway...



Muzzy reviewer...



Very real alcoholic...



You can buy this!!! I was fixated on it.



Live performance, art gallery, bar...what else can you hope for?

Some People NEVER Learn!

...in this case, I mean some person, ie: Moi.

I've religiously avoided painting my nails after a manicure, and yet here I am, after some girly impulse seized hold of me and hauled me by the scruff of my neck, fresh from a facial and a french manicure with nail art.

I do NOT have any problems with a facial (except that I think it's expensive...the spots on my face were in danger of being mistaken for traffic lights, though, so some serious action had to be taken...) but I swore I wouldn't go back for a manicure. EVER. At this particular nail salon located in Bangsar Village.

No names, but it's not like we're spoiled for choice, here :p

The facial was great. I even bought toner. This is, believe you me, unprecedented. For me, at any rate. But the scales on my face were starting to resemble the scales on a komodo.. ha.

Anyway, the nail art was crap. I was so upset, I refused to look the girl in the eye. Not only was she reluctant to remove the nail art and redo it for me, she took the easiest (and messiest) way out by wiping the surface of my already-painted nails clean of the offending art, and then repainting over it with more polish. The mess is terrible.

She did a great job on the basic polish, but I didn't like her attitude. She was apologetic, but dear God! RM74 for a french manicure is pure bullshit, especially when I can get it done faster, neater and with better nail art at my usual place in MidValley.

This is the offensively priced piece of "art"...RM4 per nail. What crap.


I do apologize for the quality of the photo, but I took this with my phone cam...

Okay I'm done bitching. This was a bloody waste of money, and in a moment of pure spite, I refused to leave a tip.

Which Step is the RIGHT Step?

I told Dr. Mimi last night my gut wasn't too...settled...on the prospect of this new job. And after everyone left, mom informed me I had to take Da Doll to the hospital to visit my dad (for help with homework...Mandarin). It's more than that, though. As long as he's in hospital, I'll need to send her to school. Pick her up. Something I've depended heavily on him to do.

First: my tummy tells me this job isn't the right one. Now circumstances are stopping me from being able to attend the job interview, and with my dad's doctor still not having diagnosed him on his condition, we don't know how long he'll be in there, thus making it hard for me to commit to anything (again...story of my life) that will interfere with Da Doll's school schedule.

Well, I gave the school a call, explained there'd been an emergency, and to make my apologies to the principal. I've bowed out, but said I was still interested, only that I wouldn't be able to do anything positive until next week. Maybe my tone wasn't frantic enough, I don't think the admin took me seriously.

I do realize that I am making excuses...based on some "signs" I've decided to heed. But I feel quite strongly that my gut feelings have not failed me before, and although it's almost ambivalent on this job, the extra circumstances is making my decisions swing towards the negative.

If this makes any sense.

I've lived my adult life based on signs. External indicators. Heeding the anomalies, and reacting to unusual circumstance by taking them seriously. There's Hubby, and Da Doll. Previous jobs. The Incident last year. Other forks in the road that makes up my life.

Aaaaand my dad just called. He's go on the surgery tomorrow. If you can call it that. I wonder what it's called, anyway? Whatever it is, it's on tomorrow morning, and I'm on Doll Driver Duty.

Well, I've blown it off. The ball's in their court now. I'll be told (or not) if they still want me, and can cope with having me start next week. Or not. But I'm not going to dwell on it any more. Heck, it's hard to feel regret for blowing it off at all, so I've got to wonder if this job really is for me or not.

Workout Quota for the day: Complete!

Long story (my favourite kind!!): I took Da Doll to Assunta to visit my dad. He checked himself in yesterday, and since her school's a short distance away from the hospital, I decided to just swing by lah.

Dad looks a bit frail, but I think that's the emetic.

Anyway, after dropping Da Doll off, I sent my car to the mechanic for a servicing. You know, standard oil change, battery check, brakes and stuff. I hope to get the car back by today, so I can drop it off for tyre balancing/alignment tomorrow. I've gotta catch my cousin's wedding this weekend, so the car's gotta be in good shape. Friday I'll send it for a wash :) Hehe.

My car is going to look better than me, I can tell you that.

Anyway, the mechanic is an old friend of my dad's, and he offered to send me home. I told him it was okay, that I'd take the cab back. I walked up to the main road, and decided: Heck with it. I might as well forget about going to the gym today, and just consider the walk home my cardio.

My mechanic is maybe about 3km away from my home. No big, as the crow flies. Too bad I ain't got wings, mutha!!! So yeah, I decided to hoof it. Stuck to the treeline. I'm not really insane, just maybe a bit whacked. It's really hot out, ya know? But the sky was nice and cloudy, not all that hazy (fairly clear, in fact!) and a lovely breeze kept me company all the way.

But oi. Walking about at 12:30 in the afternoon is still hot work lah. I think I got discouraged halfway through my journey, so I swung by the Maju Curry House for an isotonic. From there (the old MPPJ pool), the going was easier lah.

It occured to me that the difference between a walk on my crossramp and the one I just took is temperature control. And entertainment. Sure wish I had my iPod with me *sighs wistfully*...

Anyway, I'm home now and I've got two beautiful blisters blooming on the pads of my feet. The home stretch was tree-free, so am still a little light-headed. Chat friends will attest to my more-inane-than-usual chatter I think. I need a nice cold glass of water, vitagen, and 40 minutes horizontal.

Can't though. Student's here, contractors have arrived. Poop.