Maudlin. Rocks A-Head.

Wow, the year's winding down, the old is on its way out. The new... well, lets say the new is waiting at the doorway, and it's up to me to usher it in.

Such a polite person, this New.

Anyways. I'm taking a breather. Heck! It may even be a permanent air-pocket in the stuffy area that is my life. The old year has seen a lot of students going on break. The new year may not see them again, depending on time. Theirs and mine. Also on whether I've been doing a satisfactory job so far.

Faugh. What a thing to worry my fat head over. It'll happen when it happens. At least SpousieDude is now earning enough that we're comfortable even if I never worked another day in my life. NOT that I plan on leeching. Nah, what do you take me for? I'm lazy! Not useless!!! :p

Anyway, musically, 2005 has been...a revelation. But I'm not that bright, so I'm easily impressed :) I've learned that there's still a LONG way for me to go. So many gaps in my education. And yes, I realize I'm the one who put those gaps there.

Also, I'm very much aware now just how common I am. In the sea of musicians, I am but a minnow. Are minnows salt water fish? Cuz if they're not, then I am an ikan bilis. What's that in Common again? ;)

I do believe I'm rambling.

Here's a thought. I'm getting older. And I'm feeling the changes that ageing brings. And I'm not talking about the physical problems, although those are starting to make themselves felt. The hours I keep. My energy levels. My enthusiasm for anything new.

I'm a stodgy old fart, and that fact is hitting me hard!!!

I guess having too much time to ponder my life is making me maudlin. I mean, I'm 28. And next year I'll be 29. And then I'll be 30. And I'm still living with my parents (although it's great, cuz SpousieDude isn't around). My kid's going to Primary School once the school year re-opens. I hardly see my husband, and now I hardly hear from him as well.

And of course, the rainy season is here. I love it. Honest. But it's wet, and just a little dreary.

I'm looking forward to Christmas. I'm looking forward to SD coming home. I'm looking forward to singing in Singapore with the WP. I'm looking forward to the performance at KLPAC with the Phil. I'm looking forward (but not all that much, cuz I hate my piano playing skills) to the gigs with WM.

And I'm looking forward to the brief lull the office is going to have, before we swing full-time into the Cammies.

I'm going to bed. God knows, I'm so darned tired.

Right Versus Might?

Okay, here goes.

I went to the bank today to pay my car loan. It's the very first installment, and I was understandably confused on the payment procedure.

I walked to the main counter, because there was no attendant at the information table, and hey. I was the only customer. So I approach this pleasant looking lady, who clarifies that I need to fill up certain forms, and take a number. So I do that, and then she directs me to the information table, where we sort out my payment details.

About 2 minutes in, other customers, equally uncertain of what they want to do, walk in and loiter around, trying to figure out what to do next.

I'm done with my payment details, and I have my number. I ask the nice lady if I need to take another number, but she tells me I don't have to, I just have to walk up to the next available counter.

I stand around, waiting for a bank clerk to open a counter. Understand this, this bank is practically deserted, and only 1 counter out of 10 was open when I got in. After I was attended to by the one clerk who bothered to give me the time of day, the counters were basically closed until someone else decided to be industrious.

Finally, realising the bank was filling up with customers, one of the clerks stops her extended coffee break to serve us. So, having been the first customer there anyway, I walk straight to the counter, produce my number and a smile, and hand the lady my forms.

An indian gent, who was sitting down, immediately got up, and forcibly shoved his own bank-in forms at the clerk, and started firing questions at her.

I couldn't believe his gall! At that point though, I was just too tired to cause a scene, and I admit. I wasn't too sure he didn't have the right of way. So I kept very quiet, and looked away while he was rudely standing not two inches away from me, and making his payments before I was even through.

Now, my point is this. The counter lady, having seen my number since I'd handed it to her, should have asked the gent for his so she could serve whomever was there first. If my number was after his, I would have gracefully backed away. As it is, because of his aggressive attitude, she automatically responded to his questions, and completed his transaction without once checking if I minded.

As for me, what can I say? It's my own fault for not standing up for myself, but I recalled another incident when I was paying my phone bill. I was one of the first in line, and had stepped up to the counter without jumping the queue. However, because I needed one of the details on my bill verified, I was told by the counter clerk to hop to another counter, and that I wouldn't need to queue up again. All I had to do was return with my revised bill, and she would serve me.

Taking her at her word, I dashed to the other counter which was BEHIND the queue waiting to pay their bills, and skipped back in less than a minute. Being polite, I waited for the clerk to complete the current customer's transaction before stepping up to the counter. Respecting personal space and all that.

An old gent waiting his turn in the line, immediately took offense that I'd obviously put the jump on the crowd, almost muscled me aside with a horrible glower on his face, and told me off for being rude, and forced the clerk to attend him instead. I was so offended, and I said: "Excuse me, but I -was- here earlier, and I did NOT jump the queue", whereupon he gave me such a rude response I won't repeat it here.

I remember being so pissed off, I was shaking. Not because the gent was rude, because he'd misunderstood the situation. But because the clerk did not speak up for what was right.

And again, I find myself getting angry that our customer service clerks and officers have absolutely NO CONCEPT of taking turns.

And the Indian gent at the bank? When he left, he'd also left his number on the counter surface. I got a look at it. His was 1150. Mine was 1149. Now, if our clerks had any sense of right and wrong, I wouldn't have had my day spoiled by customers misunderstanding the situation.

What do YOU think?

~Aari

Summary...

I haven't posted anything in yonks.

Plenty of reasons for that, but mainly just being too caught up in RL, that I didn't have the mood, time, nor inclination to recap my days as they progressed.

Hubby just left. Two whole days earlier than he planned to, I might add. But work called him back (yes, I'm very sure it's work), and I feel cheated out of precious time. Time we've had only in spurts to mend what's been damaged between us. It being the Chinese New Year holidays, he had to come home out of obligation, but I think we've managed to take positive steps towards reconciliation and reunion.

I'm glad. More glad than I can say, that I chose to love and forgive, rather than extract my pound of flesh (that many believe I richly deserved to claim). It's been an absolutely tumultuous few months. No, scrap that. Year and change. My, how time flies when you're miserable and emotionally churned up.

I don't know if I'm jumping the gun by saying we've managed to work things out. I daren't build up my hopes, just in case he has another change of heart. But I will say that I conducted myself well, and chose not to let anger over-rule all my other feelings. That's my own little personal triumph, and even if things go south again (please God, don't let it though!!!), I know that I did my best, and did nothing to be ashamed of.

So, friends who might stop by here for a quick read, I just want to say: I think my marriage is A-Okay. For now. And that I'm sorry if my whinging and constant emotional outbursts might have ticked any of you off. All I can say is, I was provoked!! :)

And The Reason Is?

I told Nige that I was going to do this in a couple of days time, but I guess, since I'm here, I'd do it now.

"This" refers to the fact that I've deleted two posts from my blog. Both were on the state of my marriage, and for those who've already read it, then fine. You know, I know, lets just leave it there.

If you're out of touch, too bad. It's deleted, not even a copy saved on my HD. But yeah, I'm going to leave it where it is now (out of sight) and that's that. Don't ask me anything, don't ask me to explain anymore. Now is the time for me to move on and plan for my future.

That is all.

Quizlet time!

Courtesy of some friends in my li'l DJ community. Nicked this quizlet in honor of the Season! Huzzah!

You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket!

Full of hope and promise. But in the end, a cheap letdown.

What Crappy Gift Are You?

In other (mostly unrelated...ok...totally unrelated!) news:

The carolling is going real good. Mostly because it's over in two gigs' time! YAY! Looking forward to the PPP - Post Production Party (whee!) cuz we got La Supa Sandwiches to allow us into the buffet spread. And best of all, we got a preview of tomorrow's dinner on the house. Three cheers for wonderful giving people!

Watched the Phantom of the Opera (movie version). Minnie Driver as La Carlotta was absolutely hilarious!! Bwahahahahaha!!! Thanks to Empress for deigning to bestow freebie tickets on me and my clan *grin*. My clan loved it. I clutched Musedly's hand at some parts...Gerard Butler, the Phantom Dude, sang some terrible high notes. It was Wince-Worthy *tm*. Hehehe. And the fight scene, where Raoul and The Phantom Dude confronted each other over La Diva was so funny. OTT!!! I was whispering into Musedly's ear that they should just stop singing and DO something!! But that's theatre for you...Hahahahah!!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next week. 24th of December is an office holiday, which I shall enjoy tremendously. Looking forward to the party at Goddess', and of course the Boxing Day Tipple-cum-Lunch. Hehe. Of course, I've sworn of alcohol, and shall enjoy recounting to my tippled friends the weird things they said. Cuz I'm ebil like that. Heh heh.

Signing off with a satisfied belly ;)

Ugh to Small-minded People In Power

Well, that's just part of what I'm about to post. The rest is really mundane, but what to do? I've got this really bad habit of writing post titles that don't match my posts :p

So..last night was rather...umm...weird. Heh. Me and the Empress had headed out to town to catch the U2 iPod product launch, and we thought we'd arrived there IN TIME. The invites DID say 7pm after all. When we arrived, the line had already curled out to the main road and was on its way to reaching the next plot of land, and we heard from a friend of the Empress that the first 200 had already been in and out with their goodie bags.

Blah.

So after dawdling to the back of the line and deciding NOT to be like the rest of the geek-pack, we headed back to the car and drove of to the National Arts Academy where Empress promptly signed up (belatedly!) to audition for a role in the Landmark Opera of 2005! Whee!

Hope she and the other DeViants get in :) Although I must say, Goddess Fluffy is ver' ver' naughty this time around :) Esp. since she's heading to Borneo next month :p

OK BACK UP! I missed a step!

So, on our way to the Academy, I took a wrong turn and ended up at the front gates of the Parliament Building (this is at 8pm), where we promptly got harrassed by the gate guards. Geez. So, ok, I understand you're worried that two girls in a little car could be carrying uzis (which are probably longer than our car boot is wide), and probably driving around with bombs strapped to our chests, cleverly hidden by our fitting tops and bras.

And yes, you may see my ID and Drivers' License, but can you not threaten to make me leave my car parked in front of the guard house for DARING to take a wrong turn? I don't think whichever VIP that's going to drive up on the morrow will be very happy to see my little car blocking his way :p

I think if he'd meant business, we'd have had to get out of the car for a frisking. As it is, I suppose the guards in our National Service don't have much to entertain themselves with at night, so we were probably a welcome distraction. He finally deigned to allow us to make a three-point turn, and we barreled down the road and made an illegal left turn because that would be about the only way out of there :p

So yeah, the story follows with the auditions, and then we had dinner and headed home. The end.

Well, not quite. I've been sneezing my head off (damned face powder), and tonight's another show. Ewie. AND the red tide is upon me! SAVE MEEEEE!!! Hehehe.

Okay, NOW, mercifully, it ends.

Back to the mundane?

Yeah, well. Here I was going through this period where I said I'd try my best to get OUT of working in a music-only environment, start school again, try a different major. Like Linguistics. But oi!! I end up getting a job at an arts/music portal.

How's that for karma?

Anyway...I'm pretty happy where I am right now. Still catch myself asking asinine questions (usually after I've asked it. How embarrassing!! :) Otherwise, I'm good. I think.

Anyway, I've been seriously looking at iBooks/Power Books. After reading the articles on the non-possibility of a G5 powerbook anytime soon, I have to wonder if it's worth getting a G4 iBook instead. Hmm...holiday or iBook. Holiday or iBook?! Decisions, decisions.

Of course, it's all moot if I don't save up anything in time. So yay job. Yay teaching. Yay, period.

Arrogant Fascist Types

Recently, I received an email from an egroup I'm subscribed to, which literally made my blood boil. Details further along :)

Said email was rather inflammatory, and totally unexpected. It was a very public attack, and very poorly informed to boot. Such people should curb their figurative tongues if they have no proof nor substance to substantiate their accusations. Wow, now wasn't THAT a mouthful :)

Until today, I still cannot believe that there are people out there who presume they have the right to tell you what to say and how to think. I have never fully (nor even partially subscribed) to the law that states every person has a God-given right to say what they think. You are entitled to your opinion, and of course you have the freedom of speech (I'm not even an American, by the way) SO LONG AS YOU TEMPER YOUR JUDGEMENT WITH COMMON SENSE.

If saying what you feel is going to start a world-wide war, curb your tongue. Unless it's what you intend, then I can't comment. I'm not one to hide my opinion. However, I've learned that if you take that few extra seconds to think things through, you spare yourself the embarrassment of making thoughtless comments that hurt or offend the people around you. That's not to say I don't blunder, but I'm a lot better than I used to be :)

I'm fairly opinionated, and have been known to blow things way out of proportion. I also know that once I've vented, I'm not too bad at either letting it drop, or taking my gripes up with the offending person. Of course, once I've blown off steam, I'm a lot more tactful and diplomatic. Ergo, people who have opinions ought to think a little bit longer and harder than the other type before they speak what's on their minds.

I understand it's a fairly Asian attitude, this reticence. That's fine by me. Being a mixed breed myself, I can see the benefits of the Western concept of broad-minded thinking, tempered with the more reserved judgement of an Asian.

Back to the offending small-minded peanut who got my blood boiling, and his offensive-to-everyone mail.

You can't blame people for having a blog and publicly writing what they think. You can't STOP them. You can't have them kicked out of a Club or Society for having the temerity to OWN a blog. You cannot tell everyone that such people should be treated like Pariahs.

Or you can think it, and say it. But DON'T expect to affect a change based on those flimsy opinions.

I'm quite ticked really. It was a public attack, ergo it requires a public response. Let me blog how I feel. I'd like to see if this Offensive Emailer dares tell me to MY FACE what I can or cannot do.

In other news:

The current proggie I'm taking part in is on a back-burner in my mind. I can't seem to muster up the enthusiasm to memorize, which is truly bad of me. I KNOW I'm supposed to have had all my words down pat like two weeks ago. I can't help it. It's a mental block of tremendous proportions ;) I shall attempt to memorize by tomorrow, although God knows what good cramming is going to do *rolls eyes*.

Ah well. All this excitement has at least helped me get over my blues. Which is a good thing.

The Incredibles

The Incredibles was simply, INCREDIBLE!! :)

I'm so glad I got those preview tix, and we (Minnie-person and I) had AWESOME seats. 3rd row from the back, dead center. Hahahahaha! So cool! Anyway, I STRONGLY recommend everyone to go watch it. It wasn't slapstick humor so much as it was more stuff that's related to everyday living. Being a wife myself, I found some of the more humorous situations reflecting really closely to the things I've said and done. Hahahaha!

The last bit where we find out Baby Jack-jack's super power's cool too :)

Anyway, that's enough of a teaser...y'all go get your tix NOW! :)

On A Local Driver....

I was driving home from choir practice, and turned a corner at the traffic light, when I had to stomp on the brakes. This Mercedes 230 had made a sudden turn out of his lane, and intending to cut into mine. This being the month for tolerance to the rest of humanity, I decided to not push forward, and waved at him to continue. For a long moment, he just stayed in that position, appearing unsure of whether to proceed or not. A few more insistent waves, and he finally decided to move along. Without a wave of thanks, I might add.

I'd noticed the left lane, which the Merc driver was on, was lined with cars laying by, wanting to make quick-dash purchases from the stalls that were hastily set up along the kerb. The only lane with moving traffic was mine. So I start to step on the gas, as my position is rather awkward. We were stoppering up the entry from the other 2 sides of the T-junction. The E230 driver, I shall now name him Asshole, suddenly stops a few yards ahead, without signalling, pops the boot, gets out the door and strolls around to load some stuff from one of the stall vendors.

Hello? No thanks for not making a fuss about his totally inconsiderate change of lanes, stopping DEAD in a busy street, with more cars pouring in from all sides, a shit-faced glare of contempt for my dilapidated old 1991 Honda Accord (obviously, Japanese car drivers don't rank anywhere in his book of people to show courtesy to), add the fact that a WOMAN was driving said dilapidated Honda Accord, his lackadaisical attitude towards the honking that was starting to crescendo behind me, and the pile-up he was causing.

I want it on record that I'm NOT racist, but I'm going to say that this particular indian driver of middle age was probably the MOST annoying asshole I've ever had the misfortune to come across. The whole attitude reeked of: This is my grandfather's road, I've got more money than you, OBVIOUSLY, and I have more right to do whatever the HECK I want because I feel like it.

I also want it on record that his E230 was a 10-12 year old? model. So he was just an asshole. There.

If I ever see him again, I'm going to run over his toes with my nice, sturdy German Volkswagen Beetle, model 1303, year 1975, then when he's bent forward in pain and agony, I'm going to throw it in reverse and flatten his head! Hah!!!