Which Step is the RIGHT Step?

I told Dr. Mimi last night my gut wasn't too...settled...on the prospect of this new job. And after everyone left, mom informed me I had to take Da Doll to the hospital to visit my dad (for help with homework...Mandarin). It's more than that, though. As long as he's in hospital, I'll need to send her to school. Pick her up. Something I've depended heavily on him to do.

First: my tummy tells me this job isn't the right one. Now circumstances are stopping me from being able to attend the job interview, and with my dad's doctor still not having diagnosed him on his condition, we don't know how long he'll be in there, thus making it hard for me to commit to anything (again...story of my life) that will interfere with Da Doll's school schedule.

Well, I gave the school a call, explained there'd been an emergency, and to make my apologies to the principal. I've bowed out, but said I was still interested, only that I wouldn't be able to do anything positive until next week. Maybe my tone wasn't frantic enough, I don't think the admin took me seriously.

I do realize that I am making excuses...based on some "signs" I've decided to heed. But I feel quite strongly that my gut feelings have not failed me before, and although it's almost ambivalent on this job, the extra circumstances is making my decisions swing towards the negative.

If this makes any sense.

I've lived my adult life based on signs. External indicators. Heeding the anomalies, and reacting to unusual circumstance by taking them seriously. There's Hubby, and Da Doll. Previous jobs. The Incident last year. Other forks in the road that makes up my life.

Aaaaand my dad just called. He's go on the surgery tomorrow. If you can call it that. I wonder what it's called, anyway? Whatever it is, it's on tomorrow morning, and I'm on Doll Driver Duty.

Well, I've blown it off. The ball's in their court now. I'll be told (or not) if they still want me, and can cope with having me start next week. Or not. But I'm not going to dwell on it any more. Heck, it's hard to feel regret for blowing it off at all, so I've got to wonder if this job really is for me or not.